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As it stands now, I have a lot of growing up to do. Lately, I have been challenged to a higher standard of being a so-called "grown up." I know it is necessary to grow up and be organized. But I am really questioning who really has it all together. I sure as heck dont and Im pretty sure no one really does, but I have been really convicted lately by the "shoulds" of life. This is something that always irritates me. I "should" have my room spotless at all times, I "should" have more of a balanced life. I "should" be more womanly: i.e. polite, proper, quiet, etc. I also, have started to feel peer pressure for the first time in a long time. I never have believed in peer pressure. I believe that you cant let people control who you are, and that your life is yours to make. But for some reason, more than ever, growing up has turned into moving backwards. Life has become like highschool again. Cliques: the single people, the marrieds, the people with children, the out casts, the unemployed, the students,etc. When will these labels stop?

Also, it seems to be based on a grading system. If you dont complete the essay questions the way a certain teacher expects you to write it, you fail the test. Life is not just a series of tests, but sometimes it seems to be that if you write the answers that are acceptable to the majority, or certain "teachers" in your life, you pass the test with atleast a c and every one is happy. Except you learned nothing and you wrote the answer that they wanted. Which, gets you no where.

This isnt something that is consuming me, just slightly irritating something inside of me. Why do we feel compelled to keep up with the Jones' in our life? There seems to always be someone nicer, prettier, funnier, richer, cooler, a better mom, a better wife, more stylish. Why can't it just be acceptable within ourselves to love who we were made to be and be it freely?

Is this pressure made up internally, or are we really getting mixed signals about who to be? I feel a little bit of both. No one is free from internal pressures that we put on ourselves because of the media, peers, random strangers, parents, enemies, or anything in between. But I also believe that we are not perfect and the imperfections are what make us who we are individually. Seriously, this sounds cheesy. But Im really ercked by this insane pressure that is in the world to live up to some standard that was set 900 years ago that we seem to follow aimlessly like sheep. Why cant we just control it and live our lives, freely, and wonderfly for who God made us to be.

This might be just me, but I feel that Jesus wouldnt want it this way. I feel like God made us all so different for a great reason. Whether it be quiet, short, funny, with a stutter, bad at school, great at school, akward, a great dresser, or anything in between; he wants us to be who we are. Quarky and unique in our own special way. He wants us to love ourselves and love him. Thats all he commands of us. And I feel like if we get consumed in what we are or others are; we lose sight of him and what we were created for: to love.

There are, of course, times of weakness and judgement and hate, but I think if we focus on the qualities that make us and others who we uniquely are and are accepting of those qualities, its a great start to freedom from standards and pressure.

This might be one who rabbit trail, and it might never solve any thing. But I just thought Id vent.

So...moving on.

Wow. So, times really change. AND fast!

Since then I:
-Got a job teaching a kids cooking class for a whole month at jc. One week I taught two classes. Breakfast of champions and rakin in the dough. The next week was science week! And the third week was iron chef! Every child I got to instruct soaked so much in. Their minds and imaginations are incredible!! It was honestly the most amazing job I could ever ask for, and a huge thing that God had planned that I never knew I was even equipped for. I learned so much about myself, my patience level, children in general, and it helped keep my passion for food alive and kicking. Those kids taught me what it means to really enjoy life. They smell things, taste things, eat things, just to figure it out. I wish adults took more time to just figure things out. Life would run so much smoother if we took the time to smell things and enjoy the process behind life. I also learned from these awesome kids how to cherish everything. No stone is ever un-turned if a child has lost even their smallest, yet favorite piece of artwork or jewelry or stuffed animal. They cherish the small things as well. They dont care about how expensive things are, or how cool they look, or what they wear. They just want to run around, eat a lot, and have fun. If people stayed that easy as life went on, I think wed be in great shape!

-Finished up my last semester at Columbia, I learned so much from those classes, but also learned that mostly what I needed out of that school was to learn a new outlook on life, soak in some culinary knowledge, and realize that a degree in culinary arts wouldnt be what I needed. I am 6 classes away from finishing. Some day I might finish up the odds and ends of the degree, but all that are left are laws, and math classes. I have since finished my general Ed, and plan to go to Stan State in the Fall of 2011 for Child development.I enjoyed every bit of every class, and learned so much about the world of food, and I never plan to stop learning!

-I also, recently got engaged. That will be a whole other blog. lol! This is an exciting journey that will be my next adventure. Im just glad he loves food as much as I do. We plan to do a lot of eating and traveling along the way. So I have no idea what the future will hold, but Im excited and it is such a fun ride learning and growing and figuring it out. Im seriously up for any new challenge and I wouldnt trade any of the times over the past year for the world.

"This will be a changing day in you life." -Dr. Phil.

I never knew what Dr Phil was talking about when he said that. I new it could happen to people, and that it might happen to me some day in the future when Im old and gray, but I had a life changing moment. Through one small conversation, that the other person has no idea how much they changed my course in life.
On friday, I had a life changing talk with my nutrition teacher. God tugged on my heart to talk to her. It was definitely a divine appointment. We talked for a while. 30 to 45 minutes about life, nutrition, food, different jobs she had, and everything in between. It was great. I know 30 years from now, when Im in whatever job I have, married with kids, and looking back on my life, that comversation will have changed my life.
Before this conversation, I had an interview and got the job through Modesto Junior College being a teacher for kids and cooking. I also, have had a divine appointment and want to get into group exercise training and nutrition. I had no idea how I was going to put it all together, and definitely how to start on this adventure.
After talking with my teacher, she cleared a lot up. She told me who to talk to, and that what I should look into is Public health. It would be helping people with eating disorders, moms to be, children on welfare. All of the types of jobs that actually help people! Exactly what I would love to get into!!! Its so exciting to see the was things are getting narrowed down, some things that are getting pruned out of my life, and things that are getting brought into my life that I never expected.
I have also started making children's birthday cakes. Ive done a spongebob, a dora, and my next adventure will be spider man! I think I am getting interested in learning more about cakes. Its a great business and super fun!! Pictures will be posted!!

But...other than that, new recipes are in the works and I am enjoying school and every class I get to soak in. Summer is going to be a kick in the pants, and I cant wait to see whats in store on this crazy path Im on.

the funniest day...

So, to sum in up. Wednesday was probably the funniest day this semester. Altogether, Wednesdays are just long in general. I have an 8 1/2 hour lab and then lecture after. Its rough, but its all about food so Im happy and in my happy little world. Last Wednesday specifically though was funny. I made soup. Not to hard, but i had never worked with ginger, made stock, and never made soup from scratch before. So from the start it was a nervous task for me to take on. Then to top it off, I spilt veggie oil everywhere, got ginger in my eye, cut two fingers on the same hand, and was tearing up worse than any pms day from cutting a million onions. And, when the soup was done, a lady's comment was that it "tastes like baby food." The flavor was great, but carrot ginger soup is a puree soup. Thats just what it tastes like. Altogether it was so fun though. Me and my lab mates were laughing so hard. Especially Emily. She is a crack up as it is, but we were laughing so hard I almost peed a little. HAH.

As for every other class, I am taking my last general ed class. This English class is amazing, but my teacher is quite the hippy. I love it. I love how we "pinky-up" with a partner at the beginning and end of every class. I am learning to write better than ever before. Maybe a career that combines both is in store!?!? Who knows?